Melt my heart to stone
It’s been a long time…and I really can’t even remember that dream I had. But apparently, it affected me deeply enough that I marked it as private – until I logged in tonight, read it, and published it. I haven’t seen or heard from Grams since then…and then I go back and reread that she wants me to be open to love. And tonight, I can honestly say that I am not open to any kind of love in the romantic arena. I thought that I was designed for marriage, I could feel it in my bones – like being deisgned to be a teacher – but after the past few hours that I’ve exeperienced, I have determined that though I may be designed for marriage, I will never be in the position to become married. I am happier single, I am healthier single, I am complete single. My heart cannot take any more – if it does, I fear it will disappear all together. I am too old to be hurting like this. There’s so much going on in my head, but it’s all so jumbled – between Jason’s death, Brandy’s friend Matt, and leaving Mike – I can’t separate out my emotions, my thoughts. Yet, in reference to Mike, I feel the only thing that does help me understand our situation a bit better is the song “Melt My Heart to Stone” by Adele.
